Gorbachev’s Definitive Scientific Ranking

Mikhail Gorbachev, the advertising actor of Pizza Hut (opens in new tab) who presided over the political collapse of one-sixth of the Earth is inexplicably most famous for his tenure as General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. But while he was still with us, old Gorby actually had a storied career as a video game character, popping up in all sorts of games to spread wisdom, goals and crucial international infrastructure. (opens in new tab).

Surprisingly, very little has been written about Gorbachev’s glossy appearances in video games. I intend to correct this mistake. I’ll guide you through the gaming career highlights of the last prime minister of the world’s first socialist state, ranking each performance in turn. I’m not (totally) unserious: Before I put everything into writing about games, I was working on (without much conscious dedication, the way wind “works on” eroding stone) an academic career in Russian history.

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